Kneel with jaxamous as she discuses the life of a BDSM slave. This week she discuses the concept of a "focus phrase", the four words that are the most important to her. She also gives some advice to those who are new to the BDSM lifestyle.
I've met several individuals lately who are relatively new(ish) to the lifestyle and have yet to come across a dynamic similar to my Master and I's. While it's entirely untraditional (because honestly who wants to be traditional when there's the option of not?) it holds a lot of comfort and meaning for me. The most meaningful phrase in our relationship, aside of the mushy/lovey stuff and the ultimate phrase of Good Girl, is four little words- "What is your job?"
That moment when I'm on the verge of failing, breath control ceases, focus turns black, just before I fall into that sub urge to give up he whispers that phrase..."What is your job?". He never fails to see me falter, he knows my tells as much as I try to work past them, he can sense it before I do. It's a focus phrase. It snaps me back to reality, it calms my body, my breathing, and my nerves. I know I can push again and go farther because my job is to take what he gives me and to do it well.
I am well trained to this phrase. Regardless of task, regardless of pain or pleasure or humiliation, I'm trained to go beyond my own boundaries and into his. My body returns to a strong stance, my breathing slows, and my mind focuses. I do not need coaxing, I do not need hand holding, I do not hesitate... I just need those words.
Written by: jaxamous