Key concepts that are absolutely essential for any kinkster to know. Consent is one of the most basic and most important concepts to anyone partaking in BDSM play. In this article InvestigatorCane defines terms to consider relating to the issue of consent based on his experience within the lifestyle.
Consent is when your partner has agreed to an activity, which in BDSM play might include both physical or mental aspects, provided that:
(1) The scope of the activity is not beyond pre-agreed upon perimeters AND
(2) the activity is a reasonably foreseeable part of joint participation in the activity.
Additionally there are certain actions that when done without given consent could result in serious consequences. Some of these include -
Sexual harassment, which is when:
A person threatens to engage in sexual conduct with a person while knowing that the conduct is thereby likely to cause annoyance, offense, or alarm from that person.
Rape, which is when a person:
Intentionally engages in sexual penetration with another person without their consent.
and Sexual extortion, which is when a person:
Intentionally compels another person to engage in any sexual act by means fear or intimidation.
Intentionally compels another person to engage in any sexual act by means fear or intimidation.
Consent is a complicated issue in both vanilla society and the BDSM community. The definitions I have provided give a basic understanding of consent and some acts which can occur if consent it not given. However, it is up to you to educate yourself about the standards of behavior in relation to consent in your area.
The most important thing is to make sure to have a conversation with your play partner before engaging in any activity. During the conversation all participants should agree on what types of activities will occur. Use simple and easy to understand language while giving a full explanation of the potential ways the scene may unfold. Use a safe word when either partner believes it to be necessary. There is no such thing as too much communication before and after BDSM play.
The most important thing is to make sure to have a conversation with your play partner before engaging in any activity. During the conversation all participants should agree on what types of activities will occur. Use simple and easy to understand language while giving a full explanation of the potential ways the scene may unfold. Use a safe word when either partner believes it to be necessary. There is no such thing as too much communication before and after BDSM play.
Written by: InvestigatorCane